Kids are influenced quite easily which is why it’s important to watch your own behaviour while teaching your children how to live and thrive. Unfortunately, many people don’t realise just how much an environment can impact a child’s behaviour as they grow. So how much do certain environments affect children? Here’s a simple guide I’ve learnt from previous experience myself and while watching others.
- The Angry Environment
Anger breeds anger, this is why you’ll find some children are angry at a young age because they’re parents are angry as well. My husband used to be an angry person and sure enough my son used to mimic his father and started to throw things, yell, scream and act up something fierce. We thought there was something wrong with my son, some sort of anger issue that we weren’t aware of. But when my husband went into anger management and counselling to help control his anger better, we saw a big difference in the way our son conducted himself. He started to become much calmer and a much happier child. Now he asks for things instead of having a major, and I mean major tantrum, to get them.
If you find your child is angry, try to take the time to stop and see whether you or your partner are acting in a similar way. Do your boss your partner or children around? Do you yell and scream when you don’t get what you want? It’s important to remember that children learn from what they’re taught and experience in life. If you teach them anger, they will show you anger. If you find you’re having problems don’t be afraid to reach out for help. My husband did and now we live a much calmer happier life.
- The Abusive Environment
It goes without saying that abusive environments for children are one of the hardest environments that they can live in and so it is really important to know the signs and be able to identify if a child is possibly experiencing abuse. I noticed a friend’s child was experiencing abuse when the child was more withdrawn than other children, she was a little timid, afraid to talk out of line, depressed, angry and lacked the confidence other children had at her age. Luckily for my friend, she got out of this relationship and is now living a much happier lifestyle. I’ve also noticed a huge change in her child, she’s now a happy, confident little girl who loves to play with my son when they come around and i am thankful to see her come out of her shell.
Children who grow up in abusive relationships have a higher risk of being abusive themselves as the cycle continues, so know the signs, and contact the appropriate authorities if you are worried in any way.
- Family Environment
The family environment is the environment that is obviously the most beneficial for children as the caring atmosphere helps them develop into confident, kind adults themselves. Children who grow up in a stable and caring family have more of a chance to do well in life. They tend to be more academically advanced and are more confident in their social skills which is what we all want right?
However, you still need to be careful you don’t spoil your child. Giving your child everything they want without them having to work for anything doesn’t teach them how to survive on their own. In some cases, spoiling your children will cause them to have temper tantrums until they get their own way, so its a fine balance we as parents need to be aware of.
This is why balance is crucial; try to incorporate rules and chores with rewards into your child’s life. This will teach your children how to work for their goals. It will also teach them responsibility for their own actions. A star chart is a great way of rewarding good behaviour!
Children learn their behaviour from you, what you portray, and how you treat them. By understanding this, you can lead your children into a better and more positive upbringing. We know as parents its not always easy and its a skill we often need to learn ourselves, but its a process and each step towards being that perfect parent is a step closer to having the perfect child!
Thanks for this thought provoking post Caroline! So…… have you changed the way you conduct yourself around your children? Has their behaviour improved as a result? We would love to hear your thoughts as we all know it can be hard sometimes and nobody is actually perfect! but we hope this helps you think about your parenting skills and if you have a positive story to tell we would love to hear it. I would just like to add that parenting is a tough job – working is sooooo much easier so its also important to try and take time out on occasion and have time with your partner. We still do our monthly date night and have done since we first met. There are nights i just want to crash on the sofa but when get dressed up and go out (just the two of us) it helps keep that spark in our relationship ignited.
Bio: Caroline Kastner
Caroline Kastner is a wife and mother to a young son. She has contributed to Active Baby and aims to inform parents about different and important topics. She’s a child and family advocate, and hopes to one day adopt a new child into their family.